She puts fear into my children that is unappropriate. One time I caught her whispering in my three year olds ear to let her stay with her. She tells the kids that she wants them to stay without asking me and when they get upset she tells them it is mommys fault. She tells everyone that my husband and I keep the kids from her, in reality she was seeing them 2-3 times a week and she was keeping them overnight once in a while before we realized the seriousness of her issues. She trys to manipulate their little minds always trying to make me appear to be a bad person. I swear MIL thinks she is my kids mother. After I had kids I got close to my mother again and regreted the past dearly. She told me terrible things about my own mother and completely turned me against her. in the last few years we have uncovered the lies and realized that MIL was the reason behind our hatred. For the first five years of my marriage my mother in law would tell me terrible things about my sister and law and vice versa. ![]() I know she has borderline personality disorder. I feel as tho I can not live a "normal" life. I don't even know where to start but what my sister in law and I go thru is not right and it is not fair. But im in desperate need of advice if you have a moment : ( Don’t abandon them.This is so long and it only touches the surfaces of who my MIL is. Be consistent with your child no matter how they respond to you. The most consistent and salient advice I have seen is to take care of yourself, if you are the targeted parent, both emotionally and physically.ĭocument everything in a diary-missed visits, alienating behavior in the presence of the child. Legal experts should be knowledgeable of your state laws and psychological experts must be licensed in your state if they are to give helpful expert testimony recognized by your court system. You should be mindful of the laws in your state as to the legal recognition of parental alienation. There are many experts addressing parental alienation online. ![]() ![]() What can I do if I see this occurring in my own family separation? The child is without any empathy towards the targeted parent and sees them only as in the eyes of the alienating parent. ![]() Parental alienation has occurred with the child as the instrument of destruction against the targeted parent.Īt some point, the child completely and wholly adopts the alienating parent’s viewpoint about the targeted parent and the cycle is complete. The choice for the child to not emotionally support this parent is not something the child has learned to do since birth. Ultimately, the child believes the alienator’s viewpoint because in order to provide support to this parent, he or she must do so. When the child begins to mimic the alienating parent’s hatred towards the other parent, the targeted parent, the alienation is occurring. How far this father will get is to be seen as he is in the early stages of alienation. This coupled with exotic travel and other ways in which he took from the mother pleasures she enjoyed with the child (the mother used to take the child for haircuts to a local community beauty parlor until the father hired a beautician to come to the home to teach the child how to do her own hair) manipulated the child to him. One father purchased a life size portrait of himself and the child by a world-renowned artist thereby using both financial power and the physical evidence of alienating (the mother is not in the picture) the child from the mother. Some alienating parents use money as their weapon to both denigrate (the targeted parent earns less and is therefore inferior) the targeted parent as a weak link in the family unit and to buy the child’s devotion.
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